Solar Radiation and the New Boots
(a 'shaggy cat' story)
Well, the roundup was all over;
The cowboys all were paid.
Roy Rogers had a pocketful of loot,
So he saddled up old Trigger,
And rode down to the mall,
And bought himself a brand new pair of boots.
The evening chores were waiting.
Roy headed for the barn,
But he didn't want his new boots to get scuffed,
So he tucked them with great care
Underneath the stairs,
Thinking there they would be safe enough.
These were the boots he'd dreamed of --
He'd saved up for so long --
So fancy, though the price would make you reel.
They were high and narrow, snakeskin,
With a flashy filligree,
And sterling silver at the toe and heel.

Now, Bullet, Dale, and Buttermilk,
And Pat and Nellybelle, too,
Were most impressed, though the cat could give a fig.
He was their adopted cat,
Named 'Solar Radiation'.
That cat was a hippy cat, you dig?

Now Roy and Dale and Buttermilk,
Bullet, and Trigger too,
They loved singing 'Happy trails to you'.
But Solar Radiation,
His favorite song of all,
It was that old 'Chatanooga Choo Choo':

"Pardon me, boy, is that the Chatanooga Choo Choo..."
Now, Solar Radiation,
He was on the prowl,
Looking for some catnip, or some eats.
He came upon a marvel
Underneath the stairs -
Those hideous things that had been on Roy's feet.

Now, Solar Radiation,
He liked the smell of snakeskin,
And decided he would give those boots a taste.
A taste gave way to mawing, in
A snakeskin-shredding orgy,
And soon he'd lain those fancy boots to waste.

When Roy came in and found him,
He truly lost his mind,
He drew his six-gun on that dirty rat.
Dale burst in and saw them,
She grabbed Roy by the arm,
And uttered as she pointed at the cat:

"Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat 'at chewed your new shoes..."
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copyright 2011 - Tony Provencher